“…Who’s real name is… has been sentence to two weeks community service. And now we have some good news, and some bad news. The bad news is that stock markets have fallen. The good news is that these graphs will tell you all about it, in the form of a song.”
“Coming up next, we have nothing. We didn’t have enough news to cover the whole show tonight, so I’m going to say absolutely nothing in the cadence of a news story, and I hope I’ll get away with it. As I said a moment ago, this is all filler. Let’s go live now to our reporter at the scene and hope that he comes up with something better.”
“Okay, go to commercial. Go to commercial! Okay, go to card! Now, please, now!”
