“Hello, may I have your attention, please. Sorry to… The police is here and they ask us to stop the party. They asked me to put your hands up in the air. Put your hands up in the air. Put your hands up in the air. Put your hands up in the air. I just had these mushrooms, so I’m quite not sure if the police is here or not. Well, you have to ask yourself, what would Jesus do?”
“End of message. To delete this message press…”
“-I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says, like, I wanna be formal but I’m here to party too. Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party. -I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.
“-Dear tiny Jesus in your golden-fleece diapers, with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists pawing at the air… -He was a man. He had a beard. -Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?”
